Zen monks spend their lives learning how to make their minds go blank at will. The moment an aspiring speaker stands before an audience their mind will go blank. Unless you want to be a monk this is not a Zenful experience. Forgetting what you are going to say is as frightening as it is inevitable. Whether it is your opening remarks, your detailed notes or even your own name, you will forget something sometime. Befriend your forgetfulness. Forget about being perfect, there will always be room for improvement. Forget about being nervous, you will always feel some tension. Forget about reciting your speech word for word, you are the only one who will ever know if you forgot to say something. You can turn your fear of forgetting into something truly unforgettable by transforming your preparation into presence.
Perhaps you are like many aspiring speakers who write out their remarks word for word, and then set about memorizing their speech. You are forgetting that there is a big difference between how you write and how you speak. Even if you can commit it all to memory, your presentation will seem unnatural. The more you focus on recalling your text, the less present you are with your audience. When you disconnect from your listeners, they will forget you as fast as you forgot your lines. Savvy speakers have a detailed plan for their presentation but are perfectly calm when their presentation doesn’t go according to plan. Think about it. You are the only person who knows exactly what you are going to say. So, you are the only one who knows that you forgot something. When you take your seat, you will be amazed at how perfectly you can recall everything you forgot to say. This is inevitable because natural nervous tension makes you forgetful. Trying to recite what you planned on saying increases this tension, especially as you struggle to remember not to forget.
If you think, “If only I didn’t feel so nervous”, “Everyone can see how nervous I am”, or “I’ve got to get rid of my fear,” forget about it. Every time you get up to speak you will feel nervous. It does not matter if it is your first speech or your 500th. The key is to be present with your nervous energy and focus it into your message. No matter how nervous you feel, it is not as obvious as you think. Sure some of your listeners can tell you are nervous, but the racing of your heart and the knocking of your knees they will never know, or feel, like you do. Trying to convince yourself you are not nervous when you really are only makes it worse. Even if you could quiet your nerves like a Zen monk, your presentation will probably be forgettable. The presence of dynamic tension between you, your message and your audience is what makes you memorable.
No one’s memory is perfect. Your experience is a combination of generalizations, distortions and deletions, essentially facets of forgetfulness. Great speakers don’t give every single detail. They present just enough specific details to give a general idea. The audience, then, conveniently distorts these details to match their experiences and expectations. Often they delete whatever details aren’t important to them. Perfecting your presentations skills is more a matter of what you remember to leave out than what you forget to leave in. Put your efforts into being present, not perfect.
Nervously recited speeches are perfectly forgettable. Presentation presence comes from creating a plan and then forgetting about it. Presence comes for feeling tense and remembering to let it go. Presence finds perfection in each moment, never searching for the perfect moment. When forgetfulness becomes your friend you will find presentation Zen.