What are really you into? Is there something that you love to do you actually gain energy doing it? Do your friend’s eyes roll, or does your significant other politely excuse themselves, when you start to talk about it? If you can name it, you can claim your obsession. Obsessions are fun to share because you already know everything this is to know. What’s not so fun is listening to someone provide your chapter and verse on their passion when you’re not interested. Learning how to present your obsession can turn the interested into the indoctrinated, transform the annoyed into the amazed and help you distinguish courtesy from consent.
It is such a pleasure to be asked about your interests that we often turn a polite question into an evangelistic answer. “So, I hear you like football?” quickly becomes an energetic explanation of fantasy football strategies. “Those are really spectacular shoes!” becomes a detailed account of where and when you found and the deal you got. If your listeners eyes are glazing over just as you are getting revved up, you have mistaken courtesy for consent. Perhaps you felt a little nervous and your anxious energies turned into your sharing way too much information. In formal presentations you see speakers assuming that the audience’s cares as much about the topic as they do. Those that do, are fascinated, those that don’t, are alienated. Take a moment to find out about your listeners’ true level of interest. Pay attention to how social pleasantries may obscure their lack of interest. If they consent, amaze them with your obsession.
The difference between being annoying and amazing is often a matter of intention. If you use your encyclopedic knowledge to prove that you are smarter, more worldly and a much better person than your listeners, it is a safe bet you will exemplify annoying. However, if your intention is not to impress but to impress upon your audience, what is truly fascinating, they will be amazed. First because very few people take the time to share what they value in someone else’s terms. Huh? How do you do that? Exactly, with questions, the right questions… Let’s say you are really interested in public speaking. You buy books, read blogs and attend Toastmasters. Asking if your listeners have ever read The Power Presenter or attend Toastmasters is fine. It is best to ask about their interests first because it lets you relate your obsession to their interests. When you do this well you often find your listeners nodding their head and smiling saying something like, “Wow I never knew that, thank you. How can I find out more?”
To indoctrinate means to instruct someone to the point they accept the doctrine without question. Whatever your obsession, er passion, part of you doesn’t understand why others don’t get it. However, once they have expressed an interest, you can invite them to drink some of your Kool-aid, right? The invitation which leads from interest to involvement requires patience and personalization. Sharing how you first got interested is a great way. You story allows them to see how you answered your concerns and questions which are mostly similar to their questions and concerns. As you personalize your story they can see how it become their story. Patience is a virtue here because what is new to them feels like something you always knew. Finding like minded souls to share in your passionate obsessions is a pleasure. They ask when not why. They say check this out! instead of what the heck is that?
From the inside an obsession feels like a passion, to everyone else it appears to be a questionable compulsion. Learn to share your obsessions from your listener’s perspective and they will become your partners in mind. When you respect the difference between courtesy and consent you can amaze without being annoying, and possibly turn interest into inspired involvement boarding on obsession.